Comfort

(via Pinterest)
I’m going off of sweets. It’s not a New Year’s resolution or anything, it’s just what I have to do. If I’m convinced that I must do something; that it is the best option for me, I’m usually pretty good about doing it, so long as it’s on my own terms. I’m kind of a brat like that. I lessened my intake at first because of mild blood sugar problems that felt major for awhile. Then I did it again when this thing called ‘acne’ overstayed its welcome. At the same time, I went off of a couple other major foods, in hopes that my daily headaches might cease. I’m not the healthiest person you’ll meet, as I’m sure is apparent. So I tried something sugary the other day, as a test (a.k.a. it looked delicious and I caved), and now, about eighteen hours later, I still have a mild headache. Problem solved.

This may not seem like a big deal to you, and probably hardly seems like the thing to be discussed on a blog of this nature, so I guess I’ll have to explain something: I am a fan of sugar. If sugar ran for president, I would vote for it. And, to quote the ever-insightful Gru, “Sometimes I eat, instead of facing my problems.” I am a comfort food junkie, and I prefer my snacks to be sweet, please and thank you. So to me, this is slightly devastating. Especially when paired with the fact that one, two … make that at least eight of my comforts of choice are unavailable to me currently. There are places I can’t go to, people I can’t talk to, things I can’t eat, activities I can’t do … and so I mope on my bed. I am beyond vulnerable right now. And I know that something is going to happen amidst this time of emotional weakness that is going to try me. Because the only Comfort I’ve left to cling to is my Lord. So I grip His hand tightly, as scared as a little child, knowing full well that whatever is about to happen, it will tempt me to let go. I don’t want to let go of Him; of this incredible experience I’ve been having with Him. I am learning to trust, and sing through the difficult times, but it is like I’ve been in training. During this time, I haven’t faced a serious trial that forced me to put that faith and trust into action. Until now.
And so I cling.
And I reach out to the people I know will listen; will pray, so hear you me: I need help. I cannot stand alone and still be standing after the waves wash over me. So this is me, being vulnerable in the best way I can.

Comments

  1. Kylie January 10, 2014 at 1:15 PM

    Can I just say, you are really brave. I can't stick with anything to save life.... (well, maybe I would do it if it would save my life, that's an exaggeration) but anyway, my sister just found out she has to do something like this because of blackout spells, and she loves sugar, even more than me, so I can at least say I've seen how much stress it can put on a person.....so, I hope you feel better, and way to go for having that amazing attitude! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lydia HartJanuary 10, 2014 at 2:03 PM

      Kylie dear, let me just note that your words are making me happier than any donut could. Thank you. I really appreciate all you said. Crazy that your sister is going through a similar thing - I can relate for sure. Give her a hug for me, and tell her that sugar free ice cream is NOT worth it. And hug yourself too, because you're fantastic. Most days I do not feel like I'm being brave, or having an amazing attitude, but you have been an encouragement to me, and a reminder that people are watching, and they notice how you react to things. You inspire me to be better, and I love you to bits. So there. <3

      Delete
  2. AmandaJanuary 10, 2014 at 2:16 PM

    I wonder if sugar is what's giving ME headaches...I've had a lot of them lately. Here's a huge hug for you! :)

    Funny, my family watched Despicable Me 2 last night. So I smiled at the part about Gru.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lydia HartJanuary 10, 2014 at 2:19 PM

      Hugs back, dear girl. It's worth a try ... I'd suggest going off of it for a bit, to see if anything changes, and if nothing does, have a cupcake on me.

      Delete
  3. Bob MayoJanuary 10, 2014 at 7:41 PM

    Hi Lydia. Just wanted I have read several of your Broken Birdsong posts and and have really enjoyed them. You have a very great talent for putting thoughts on paper (or a computer screen). Thank you for bearing your heart and giving us a glimpse of you. Blessings, Uncle Bob

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lydia HartJanuary 10, 2014 at 9:42 PM

      Aw, thank you so much, Uncle Bob! I'm thrilled you've been reading and enjoying my words on here. You're welcome, I guess! =)

      Delete

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