Friday, January 31, 2014


(via Pinterest)

I had the words of Scripture pounding in my head today, like a memory I just can’t shake. I suppose that is why they call them “memory verses.” I’m getting a late start (as usual) to a challenge for this year, to memorize soul-sustaining verses from John … a year full of Jesus. Did I really expect the change to take long? I am already learning to cling to these words; to repeat them over and over when I find myself feeling weighed down by this world.

In the late morning, I read a chapter from this book and before I even had finished one page, I was shaking my head, just in awe.

“If the world is full of darkness … and darkness is the absence of light … where is the light? In Matthew 5:14-16 Jesus says, ‘You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.’ You and I are called to be the light. If the world’s such a dark and hurting place, perhaps it’s not because God doesn’t care. Instead, where are the people that He’s placed on this earth to be the light and carry out His purpose?” (Wake Up, Generation by Paige Omartian - page 147)

As I read this, I wondered what good I could do. In a world of darkness, I am just a spark, at best. I am not in a position to reach the lost. I felt positively smothered by the thought of what little I could do. Then it was like He whispered, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5) My memory verse from that very morning. It was no longer just a string of words to remember; that string had become my lifeline. Now I sit, still pondering these words, and my mind focuses in on one in particular: overcome. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Did you catch that?

It comes down to this: 1) We live in a dark world. 2) We are called to be the light to this world. 3) The darkness cannot overcome us. 4) Rather, God has overcome the world for us! There is nothing in this world that can defeat us when we are in Him; when we fight in His strength. We need not fear even death itself, for He has overcome the grave! He gives us eternal life. Just wrap your head around this. See if you can. The worst thing this world can do to us is kill us. And, in Christ, with Paul we can say, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21) The darkness has not overcome!

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

You're Not Alone {Coffee for Your Heart}

(via Holley Gerth)
(Photo by Tara Gourley)
This isn’t easy for me to talk about, but if people only talked about the easy stuff, this world would be in serious disarray--well, more serious. I’m going to be honest here; the type of honesty that requires trust, and that is something that I am still learning, slowly.
I have felt alone.
I have stood in the middle of a crowded room and have felt so desperately lonely that it nearly drowned me. This has happened in my own home.
I have been prone to anxiety attacks. I’ve sat on the floor, feeling like the world is caving in, and have only recently learned to text someone I trust when this happens.
I have laid alone in my bed and cried myself to sleep.
I know these feelings, and I know how real they can seem; so real that everything else looks fake and twisted in comparison. I have hid in corners and let the lie consume me: I am alone. I wasn’t. And dear soul, you aren’t either. Do you hear me? You. Are. Not. Alone. Not even a little. Not ever. I don’t know what you are going through today, but I know this: someone has walked that path before you. In these times, we can become convinced that no one else ever went through what we have; nobody could possibly know our pain. I have believed that, and I have been proved wrong.
No matter how perfect a person may seem, they still have scars.
No matter how flawed a person may seem (even you), they still have value.
I don’t know what trial you are facing, but I know that God has a plan. He is with you. Satan will try and isolate you; tell you that you’re not worth anybody’s time. That God doesn’t care about you. That if people knew what you have done, they wouldn’t understand; that they would reject you. That no one else has been through what you’re going through. Let me make this clear: Satan is a liar. “There is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8:44) He will make you feel isolated from your friends, your family, your God - the very ones you need to get through this. Do not listen to a word he says. Hear you me: you aren’t alone. You are cherished by many. You are God’s beloved.
Might I suggest something? Ask God to show you who you should talk to about what you’re going through. If He lays someone on your mind, reach out to them; tell them you’re struggling. Chances are, they’ve been through something similar; they’ve walked through those valleys. And if no one around you seems to understand? We have a God who went through every possible human trial and temptation; felt every weakness, and yet did not sin. (Hebrews 4:15)
Is it sinking in yet?
I don’t want you to go one more day feeling like this, dear heart. Because no matter what you have been through, are facing today, will struggle with tomorrow … you’re not alone. Not even a smidgen.

Monday, January 27, 2014

03. Great is Thy Faithfulness -- Viewed

(photo by Tara Gourley)

“Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father!  
There is no shadow of turning with Thee; 
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not; 
As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be.”
As I return to the familiar lyrics of this hymn, I cannot help but think of “faithful,” as it is seen today. When it isn’t used to describe God, it is often used to describe a spouse or a boyfriend/girlfriend, meaning they are true, and that they haven’t given their love or themselves to someone else. It means you can trust them. It means that they love you enough, and have enough integrity, that you never have to worry about them leaving or abandoning you. When I think of God as faithful, I am incredibly comforted. The God that crafted the universe loves me … enough to stick it out with me and help me as I slowly work through my numerous problems. He isn’t going to leave me, and He is going to do whatever it takes to keep me from leaving Him. Where He is faithful, I am faithless. I go out on dates with pride, fear, anger, “busyness,” laziness, and all the other guys, and I’ve left Him to wait up for me with a breaking heart. I put other things before Him. I take Him for granted. I yell at Him. I flat-out ignore Him.
And He still loves me, faithfully.
What did I ever do to deserve His love? Nothing. I’ve done everything to deserve losing it, actually, but still, He loves me. His love never changes. He has compassion for me. He looks at my hair, rumpled from a sleepless night; my eyes, clouded with worry; He watches me in the very act of doubting Him, and still, He calls me beautiful. It’s not that He is oblivious to my wrongdoings. He doesn’t pretend they’re not there. He sees them, He knows them, and they crush His heart … but He bore them on the cross for me. So when He looks at me, He looks at me with forgiveness; He sees me as redeemed; beloved. And nothing I could do would change His love for me.
“Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth, 
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide, 
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, 
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!”
An unfaithful sinner who breaks His heart at least every other day … and He still spoils me silly. Every blessing, He gives to me. Forgiveness, peace, His presence, guidance, strength, hope … He holds nothing  back from me. I am left in shock, having brought no gift for Him, and He looks at me, and calls me “enough.” His grace is sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9) All He wants is me, running recklessly into the arms of my Lord and His will for my life, for all to see.
“Great is Thy faithfulness, Great is Thy faithfulness, 
Morning by morning, new mercies I see; 
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided --
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me! Amen.”
1) How does God view me? (via her)
Through His blood, through a ridiculous amount of love, through grace, and through salvation. Whether I think I deserve it or not, He loves me wild.
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,” - Ephesians 2:4-8

Friday, January 24, 2014

Processing Pain

(via Pinterest)
There are days when it feels like the world is caving in on me. I do my best to breathe, but the air is scarce, and it isn't fresh. As it fills my lungs, I note the taste of artificiality; the stifling smell of something pretending to be what it is not. I choke and gag like I'm inhaling smoke, but everyone else around me seems to be fine; thriving, even. My condition worsens as I watch their happy, healthy faces. I want to scream, but I have not the energy such an outcry would take .... I may be taking poetic license to the extremes, but you get my point. It wasn't the best of days.
I found myself pathetically trying to cradle both my head and my hands, to somehow ease the pain that emanated from them, making them throb. I winced, and tried to move on, willing the medicine I took to just work already. It didn't. I did what any good Christian would in the same place, grabbing my Bible as fast as possible. Only I didn't. I cried, got cranky, cleaned things, said nasty words of self-destruction to the mirror, said less than Christ-like things to my family members, and I even growled at one point. It isn't a pretty picture, I know. This is how I process pain on my own. This is what I revert to when the day is long, my body aches, the list of chores seems endless, my texts go unanswered like my questions, the stress piles on, and I leave my Bible where it lays. It was that simple.
By the time I picked up that Book, my vision was almost irreparably impaired. I read, "Bless The Lord, o my soul" as "Blah blah blah, o my blah." This is not a translation of the Bible that I would recommend. I was basically holding my ears and going, "na-na-na, I'm not listening!" and then getting upset that He wasn't speaking to me. Have you noticed yet that I have problems?
This passage that I read, I heard a pastor talk about it once, well, about the line that's also in a pretty popular song: "Bless The Lord, o my soul." I can't give you an exact quote, but it was something along the lines of this: we are actually saying to our souls, "Bless Him!!" We have to actually tell our souls (ourselves) that, because really, the general human instinct isn't to bless Him ... especially not on the bad days. As the sinful, flawed beings we are, our first response to pain is to curse Him; to make His heart break. That was me today. I did that. I can take sole blame for those actions. And yet, He blessed me. I saw someone I didn't expect to see, and as she gave me a super big (and very needed) hug, I could hear Him whispering in my ear, "I did that."

My point is this: a day in my hands ... falls apart in ways that I can't even wrap my head around. A day placed in God's hands ... gets mended in ways that I didn't even think were broken.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

You're Beautiful ... Just As You Are {Coffee for Your Heart}

(via Holley Gerth)
(via Pinterest//Mauli Hans)

I hate that you don’t know this yet. You’ve been told it a thousand times at least … but you brush it off, or worse, you inwardly drown it out with lies. You tell yourself you’re ugly, a has-been, a never-will-be, ordinary, plain, not good enough … and then you criticize every feature you see in the mirror. I’ve been there, believe me. You tell yourself your nose is too big (if only you could have one like so-and-so’s), your smile too crooked, your laugh lines and crow’s feet too prominent, your hair too wild, your cheeks too big … until you’ve nitpicked yourself into a dark place where you try to console yourself with the one feature you deem adequate - “At least I have nice nails …”
I almost can’t bear the thought of you going through this. The reason this topic fires me up so is simple: I have said those things to the mirror (not those exact things, but of the same variety). I have ducked my head at the bathroom sink, just so I wouldn’t hear the nasty things I said about myself, but even so, the feeling was still there; the core belief I had could not be avoided like the mirror could. I have believed that I am worthless; of no value. I wasn’t just critiquing my appearance - that was simply the easiest thing to judge. Inside, I have hated far more things about myself. I’ve hated my habits, my talents (or lack thereof), my personality, my health, my failures, my weaknesses. Every stroke of makeup has been a manifesto of my belief that I am less than lovely. With this inside of me, every time I heard similar lies from another; their self-consciousness, I could not stand it. I would refute them, boldly, yet each time I did so, I would be telling myself that although they were stunning, I was far from it.
All that to say, this isn’t just for you; I am preaching to myself here. I need reminded of this too, daily, desperately.
You. Are. Beautiful -- just as you are.
I’ve noticed something interesting, over the years: the things you don’t like about yourself, or are self-conscious of … those are the very things we love about you.
That dimple in your cheek? We see it and can’t help but smile wider; to us it is genuine joy, and in our eyes you are forever young.
Those bangs you cut yourself in frustration? We love them. Your small rebellion makes us grin, and you actually aren’t a bad hairdresser.
Your shy smile? We would do anything to make it resurface. Honest to goodness, it’s simplistically stunning.
Your full cheeks? They make us feel at home; comfortable … we resist the temptation to squeeze them, and just squeeze you in a hug instead.
Your bright blush? To us it is innocence, unplanned charm, and so very endearing.
Your wrinkles? Yes, dear one, we love those too. We know you have walked through the valleys, and love that you came out still yourself - not afraid of years, yet not letting them define you. You’re still crazy wild.
Those things you deem “blemishes”? Please never ever change them. They are part of your identity, part of what makes you beautiful. To us, you are radiant. Always.
That sloppy ponytail that you didn’t have time to fix? We are somehow inspired by how real you can be.
Everything about you is beautiful. Don’t change a thing. We have seen you for who you are, and we have learned to love every quirk, every wrinkle, every scar, every feature, every expression, every emotion … you were made beautiful, without flaw, fearfully, wonderfully, in the very image of the One that created you.
“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my 
soul knows it very well.” -Psalm 139:14
“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” - Song of Solomon 4:7
“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness …” - Genesis 1:26a

Monday, January 20, 2014

02. Be Thou My Vision -- Love

(via Pinterest\\Chantal Anderson)
“Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart, 
Nought be all else to me, save that Thou art -- 
Thou my best thought, by day or by night, 
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.”
Oh, how I wish this described my life. To have one goal, one thought, one hope, one desire, one guide: Him alone. This is what I want for my life. I long for Him to be the only One I behold; all I can see. I get distracted way too easily. Even now, simply focusing on this study is a battle. So many things vy for my attention. How lovely it would be to have one vision, and have it be Him. He truly is the best thought that our minds are capable of thinking. The last two lines are especially meaningful to me, because (if you’ve read my blog for long, you know this) I am pretty much terrible at this whole sleep thing. I have known fear; fear of sleeping, fear of waking, of dreaming … the night has seldom been my friend. What a beautiful thing it would be, to, instead of thinking thoughts of worry; instead of dreaming dark dreams; instead of distracted, long nights with no rest in sight … to have the light of His presence. Think about the kind of light that must be - all-illuminating, comforting, warm, radiant …. No wonder we would be content to sleep in it.
This is when it dawns on me (yes, I’m this slow). He’s already here. He loves to give His children good gifts (Matthew 7:11). So what’s wrong? Why are my nights still so dark? I trod back a few verses, stepping on my pride as I go.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” - Matthew 7:7
How daft can I be? This very hymn tells the secret, that we need only to ask. The very lyrics are a plea. The author knew that without God, we are blind. All our other thoughts are worthless when compared to thoughts of Him. Without Him, there is only darkness.
“Be Thou my wisdom, and Thou my true Word, 
I ever with Thee, and Thou with me, Lord: 
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son, 
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.”
In the same way, all other knowledge pales in comparison. Worldly wisdom is nothing. All my words are useless without Him. And then, this magnificent portrait of adoption--Him as the Father, and me as the {daughter}. No matter how ‘perfect’ a family is, the parent/child relationship is only a pale reflection of the love that the Father has for us.
“... Thou and Thou only, first in my heart, 
High King of heaven, my treasure Thou art; 
… Heart of my own heart, whatever befall, 
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.”
He is all the good we need. “If I lose all this world has to offer, and receive Christ, I. Get. GAIN!” (John Piper) With a God like ours, it makes complete sense that He would be first in my heart, but I cringe when I think about how rarely this is the case. I long to have such an intimate relationship with Him that I can honestly call Him the “Heart of my own heart.” And I know that He longs for the same thing. He watches me stress over foolish things like money, and sees me desperately yearning for human acceptance. He wants this to be my song:
“Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise, 
Thou mine Inheritance, now, and always …”
He is the epitome of the One that loves fully and passionately, but gets little to no love in return, and He longs for me to want Him and Him alone. He alone deserves all of my heart, and all of my love. Lord, consume me with a passion for You!
“High King of heaven, my victory won, 
May I reach heaven’s joys, O bright heaven’s Sun!”
2) How does God love me? (another of her questions)
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to  come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” - Romans 8:38-39 (ESV)
“For God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” - Romans 5:8 (ESV)
This love. It renders one speechless. It blows the mind on every possible level. What love is this? It defies all of our worldly, self-first ways. He died for us … while we were still cursing His name with our every action, our every thought, our every breath. And yet, nothing can separate us from this love. So,
L I V E   L O V E D

Friday, January 17, 2014

Sleepless in Seattle {or some other sappy love story}

(via Pinterest)
Lately He's been waking me up early more often. I can't say that I've been accepting it with open arms. I'm not the type to fall back asleep easily, and He's got this habit of doing it when I'm convinced I both need and deserve extra sleep. He is convinced I need Him more. More than even sleep on the days when I was restless all night after a joyous, but pain-filled day; more than rest itself when I was still recovering from the shock of the car accident. The days when I, even I - the girl who tends to be brutally hard on herself - set the alarm forward a couple hours ... and He, even He - the Giver of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17) - sets His alarm for me back a few hours. I get frustrated, because really, I don't feel like I need to be up shortly after 6:00am on Wednesday, the least busy of all my days. Because, obviously, if there was something important that needed to be done, I would have marked it on my calendar. Only, the truth is, I don't put spending time with Him on my calendar ... I put it on my to-do list. Instead of big doodle hearts around a date and "Meet with Him" scrawled out in all caps ... I just write "Devos 1" next to a tiny square that I check off and move on with my day, until nighttime, when I get really spiritual, and have "Devos 2." Check.
And I wonder what drives Him to such drastic measures.
Imagine this was my earthly bridegroom (as opposed to my heavenly One). The marriage has gotten to the point of utter repetition, and I actually write on my to-do list, "kiss husband," "heartfelt convo with husband," "compliment husband." Just like that. "Heartfelt conversation." Check. And then I question my bridegroom's motives when he wakes me up at dawn, just so he can spend time with me? My mind is blown, and my cheeks burn with conviction. He woke me up, desperate to get closer to me. He woke me up to remind me that although I may consider time with him as just another item on a list, he still loves me so wildly that he put me as his first priority. And gives me cause to wonder how I scored such a great man.
(Mentally step out of the analogy here.) This Bridegroom died for me ... and I still take Him for granted. He plants a loving kiss of pure grace on my forehead ... and I have the gall to glance at the clock and think, "I could be sleeping right now." As if anything, on heaven or on earth could be better than the radical love He shows me. As if sleep could be better than His presence. And still He loves me. I am so utterly baffled that He chooses the time when I feel the worst about myself, to show me how deeply He loves me. My hair looks like someone tried to vacuum a messy bun. He loves me wild. My breath smells like a cat died in my mouth. He loves me yet. The only makeup on my face is that which I couldn't wash off yesterday. He loves me like I'm radiant. I'm wearing a t-shirt and rainbow stripe pajama bottoms. He clothes me in His righteousness.

I am undone. Starstruck. In absolute love.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

You're Loved {Coffee for Your Heart}

{an original poem}

even when your hair looks a fright
even when you give up on Me
even when you cry alone in the night
--I wonder when you’ll finally see
even when wrinkles adorn you
even when your eyes look haunted
even when you’re not a size two
--My love remains undaunted
even when hormones undo you
even when you have lost your place
even when grey skies won’t turn blue
--there is still even more grace
even when you cannot hear Me
even when rain falls from above
even when you can’t see clearly
--there’s no reason to doubt you’re


(via Holley Gerth)

Monday, January 13, 2014

01. Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing -- Trust

(via Pinterest)
I’ve been singing a new song this week. I felt challenged to substitute my secular Pandora stations for a bit. I try to only listen to music that I’d feel comfortable with all my loved ones knowing I listened to. I had slipped a little bit away from that standard, letting a few songs that weren’t exactly uplifting, but had great beats, into my earbuds. So with the new year, I decided I would try to have a sort of fast … just to see if anything changed when I cut it out completely. I certainly wasn’t expecting the drastic change that God gave me.
I woke up almost every morning this past week with a hymn stuck in my head. Not the same one, but a variety. I don’t have as much variety as some might have - I switched from a small, hymnal-toting, Baptist congregation to a large, contemporary, Evangelical Free church when I was six. So my memory holds mostly classics, like ‘Be Thou My Vision,’ ‘Amazing Grace,’ ‘Jesus Paid it All,’ and the like. These are the songs that replaced ones of modern singer-songwriters. I was shocked. But the thing that shocked me most was how much I liked it. I felt comfortable singing my heart out. I was deeply encouraged. I was able to encourage others with the songs I had in mind and heart.
Being the talkative sort, I mentioned this, in much briefer words, to a dear, sweet friend that I love. She challenged me to dig deeper into these hymns, to see what God might be trying to tell me through them; to write out or closely read the lyrics, and examine my heart and seek His. I was inspired by that alone, but she didn’t leave it at that. Later, she texted me a list of questions to reflect on as I studied these hymns; questions she felt that the Lord had led her to send. As I read them over, I found myself profoundly agreeing to her conclusion. He wanted to talk with me, for sure.
My afternoon found me sitting on my bed, with hot tea, a laptop primed to look up definitions, a hymnal, a fresh journal, my Bible, a cat, and a pen. I turned the hymnal pages to “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing.” This is what filled my journal afterwards:
“Come, Thou Fount of every blessing, 
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace.”
Openly inviting God, the only Fountain of every blessing, to tune my heart.
Tune: verb - 
adjust (a musical instrument) to the correct or uniform pitch.
The adjustment can be painful. I have to fully give up my desires; the tunes my heart once sang, to simply sing His grace. I often forget that line, and expect the song to go, “sing Thy praise.” It made more sense to me, that my heart would sing praises … how does one even sing grace?
I searched for an adequate definition of grace, but none would do it justice. No human tongue can. So maybe this is why it is our hearts, not our mouths, that must sing? Maybe this is why we need tuning? “If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.” (How He Loves by John Mark McMillan) We’re sinking in it; drowning beneath its beautiful weight. Try describing the water when you’re drowning in it. When you’re that swept up in something, at times you can only describe what it does to you; how it permeates every ounce of your being.
This hymn acknowledges that that the greatest of every blessing is grace. It doesn’t say, “tune my heart to sing Thy truth.” It could, but it doesn’t. The author of this hymn must have known that we are so utterly out of tune; that with every heartbeat, we need reminded of what He did for us, and all He gave to us … that wild and wonderful grace. We need it desperately. Oh, to have a heartbeat that is tuned to sing His grace, always!
“I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of My hand.” - John 10:28
4) Can I trust God? (one of the ten questions from her)
To tune my heart, to keep His promises, to protect me, sustain me, never change … can I trust Him in everything? The answer is yes. He holds me in His very hand, protecting me from any who would try to snatch me out. Even protecting me from my scared self.
“Streams of mercy, never ceasing,  
Call for songs of loudest praise.”
He has saved me. He saves me daily. I can trust Him. Therefore, I must praise Him, at the top of my lungs. No other response is sufficient. He must receive all the glory and the praise that I can utter. He alone is worthy, and He is worthy of my trust. So why do I worry, when I should be singing?
“Teach me some melodious sonnet, 
Sung by flaming tongues above! 
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it, 
Mount of Thy redeeming love.”
I can never learn to sing this sonnet on my own. Not in my depravity; not in my humanity. The songs of His grace are above me. Lord, teach me!
I am fixed upon His mount; the mount of His love. Nothing can move me from it. There is nothing I can do that will make Him not love me, or not want to save me. This truth is so freeing! I can trust Him. I am fixed on the the mount of His love. Nothing can take me from His hand. He is with me. He is for me. I am loved.
“O to grace how great a debtor,  
Daily I’m constrained to be! 
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, {chain or manacle, used to restrain} 
Bind my wand’ring heart to Thee. 
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, 
Prone to leave the God I love. 
Take my heart, O take and seal it, 
Seal it for Thy courts above.”
This is my paraphrasing of that: I cannot escape my debt to grace. Tie me up; chain me to Your goodness. Secure my heart to You, lest I run away again. Don’t let me go! I have the sick tendency to leave You at my leisure; to seek some other, lesser love. I can feel that this awful thing is true of me. I am likely to leave the One I love again and again. Close my heart off to any desires but for Your presence, Your house, Lord.
I fail to trust You. I seek other “treasures.” Actively bind me to Your heart, Lord. Let me wander no more. Fill me with desires ever only for you.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” - Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)