You won't relent until You have it all.
my heart is Yours.
I set You as a seal, upon my heart
as a seal upon my arm
for there is love,
that is strong as death
jealousy demanding as the grave
and many waters can not quench this love
come be the fire inside of me
come be the flame upon my heart
come be the fire inside of me
until You and I are one.
//"You Won't Relent" by Jesus Culture//
He wants my heart. All of it. Every beat. Every desire. Every longing. He calls after me, naming me Beloved, asking for this: a sacrifice worthy of Him. How could I hold anything back from such a Love? It's sinking in now, what it means to give everything to Him.
It means that if I never travel outside of my country again, I still love Him. I still trust Him.
If the tests come back, and I have this disease, I still believe that He is in control; that He knows best.
If they give no answers, and I continue to wonder in vain what is wrong with me, I commit it to Him.
If joint pain keeps me from learning the things I wish I could, He is still enough.
If I am left behind by loved ones, or they leave me behind, I cling to Him as my constant.
If every fear I've ever had becomes reality, I believe His love still prevails.
This is what the sacrifice calls for. Abandonment of self. Trust that no matter how this world may chew me up and spit me out, I am still in God's hands, and we. still. win. Because He's already won.
What a freeing thought.
If I am destitute, I am still rich according to the kingdom. He is my reward.
If I am diseased, He promises an eternity without pain. I am whole in Him. He endured far worse for me.
If I am stranded, He can still use me. The fact is, you don't have to move an inch for God to work through you, if you are surrendered to Him.
So I surrender.
If my speech falters, I trust that He will speak through me nonetheless.
He has a history of displaying His strength and glory through those the world deems weak and unlovely. Insignificant.
He gives value to those the world has shamed. How crazy is that?!
So what in this whole wide world do I have to be afraid of.
Fear itself. The devil tries to immobilize me, isolate me, and make me ineffective. So he tries to scare me into numbness. He tries to influence me and make me doubt the goodness of God's plan.
My great-great-grandchildren may hear stories of me.
Let them hear I fought illness all my life.
Let them hear I had barely a penny to my name.
Let them hear that I couldn't play an instrument to save my life.
Let them hear I never traveled far.
Let them hear I was far from famous.
So long as they do not hear that I gave up on my God.
So long as they don't hear that I lived in fear of the future.
So long as they do not hear that I was great by the warped standards of the world.
Please let the stories be of how I loved my Lord, no matter what.
Now I live with this in mind.
If I gain the world, but lose my soul, I live in vain.
If I have it all, but have not love, my life is worthless.
If I am healthy and wealthy, but do not depend on my Lord, that is true destitution.
May it be known that I consider Him more valuable.