07. 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus -- More Desired

(Photo by Anna Hart)

"'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His word,
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know, 'Thus saith the Lord.'"

Today, again, writing is a struggle. It's not that the topic bothers me. I have a general idea of what I should be writing about. I've been convicted, just by the hymn's title, but it's not a conviction I am ashamed of, no. So what is stopping me? I opted out of writing this piece last week. My schedule was full on the weekend, and I had the choice either to write this out, or have a deep conversation with my siblings. I chose them. I love that I have the freedom to do that, but, there is a fine line between my freedom and my laziness ... so here I am, writing. Every one of these hymn studies, I write out with pen and paper, originally, and will usually type them up the next day. It is my way of staying true to the fact that this was meant to be just a journaling experience in the first place. I wanted to share, though, because I have found so many truths in these lyrics. Each stanza, really. It is difficult, on days like these, when my hands are my foes, to utilize a pen for an hour or so. This is me being responsible, on schedule, and whatnot. I'm rarely those two things, and I wanted to try it for a change. Sounded fun.
So, let's get to it then, shall we?
7) Does He desire more from me? (click here for the story behind the study)
I could simply answer a resounding "YES," but then this wouldn't be a very long post, would it? God asks for (among other things, of course) this sweet sacrifice; this laying down of my worries, doubts, and fears, and taking up trust in their stead. It's a beautiful thing, and you would probably agree that it is a pretty nice trade-off. We let go of all these things that weigh us down, and simply exchange them for this light burden (Matthew 11:30); this thing called hoping and trusting in Him. Oh, how I wish it were that simple to live out, though.
You see, when we lay down all our worries and other burdens, we are laying down our will simultaneously. Our instinct is to look out for ourselves and others, so when something goes wrong, or looks like it will, and it is not within our power to fix it, we panic. At least I do. It is not my first instinct to trust God in a crisis. I want to do whatever I can possibly do to make things better, and when I can do no more, I panic, I worry, I stress - big time. I stay awake at night and all around pretty much torture myself. Who wouldn't want to give that up? My flesh, for one. It is sort of pathetically amusing to me, how the easiest, most appealing road to take, is at the same time the most painful one. And the unattractive, difficult road that Christ calls us to, is where we find freedom, joy, rest, peace.
Read over the rest of these lyrics. How I long for the following words to be the song of my heart.

"How I love to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood,
Just in simple faith to plunge me
'Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
Yes, I've learned to trust in Jesus,
And from sin and self to cease,
Now from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest and joy and peace.
I'm so glad I learned to trust Him,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that He is with me,
He'll be with me to the end.
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!"

These words. They floor me. Looking over them all at once, I can see clearly the key to this. Trust isn't something that you just get. It's a habit that must be learned. The last line of the chorus shows the full truth: "O for grace to trust Him more!" This is by no means something I can do in my own strength, or by my own merit. I need Him. I need grace. This isn't something to be learned like one learns math, just to be used when the occasion rises and you need it. If I have not trust, I am akin to a baby that has suddenly forgotten how to breathe. He is my oxygen; His grace is like air. "O for grace to trust Him more!" He desires me to desire this of Him.