Words and Waiting

(Photo by Tara Gourley)
I am learning something that I find rather difficult to put to action. Obviously, if it was easy, I'd have been doing it by now, my ordinary ignorance aside. Here's the thing: I am a planner. I make lists in the morning, describing every minute thing I plan to do in that day, and if I do something that's not on the list, that's right, I write it down and check it off. It's a pride thing. I also like to have about 5 posts for this blog saved as drafts, "just in case." In case I run out of time to write a post next Monday. In case I completely run out of inspiration. In case I get into one of my emotional funks, and I want something powerful to post instead. Basically, I had them there because I didn't believe that God would always provide the time and inspiration ... because I didn't believe He could use me in any shape I was in, to bring Himself glory. My fail-safe kept me safe all right ... from a chance to see Him do something crazy. Sure, I believe that He can use the words that I type and save at whatever time I choose; He has already shown that He can. But imagine this. What if I was completely trusting Him for every word I typed? What if I dared write through my most heart-breaking seasons, inviting Him to bring beauty from my pain? What if I had enough faith to believe that even words typed at 3:00a.m., after a particularly busy and stressful day, wiping weary from my eyes ... could be used for His glory?
I'm not saying that I've been miraculously changed into a person who always finishes things last minute. Far from it! I am writing this on a Monday, intending to post it four days from now. You know why I'm writing this now? Because I have the words, and I feel like they're from God, and meant to be shared. What I'm saying is that no longer will I be forcing myself to write anything. If I have no words to share on my regular Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule, then no words will be shared. If I don't have a hymn study to share on Monday, I won't. And if I have one, but am given something else that seems more timely, then so be it.
A friend texted me this the other day: "God gives you your words. If He gives you a few, say a few. If He gives you none, then be silent. If He gives you many, then take out a pen and write them down."
This is what I plan to do.
I am counting on Him to know best, and to work it all out for my good (Romans 8:28). His ways are above mine (Isaiah 55:9). And I'm trusting that His timing is better than mine as well. I would much rather be late in my mind, and on time in His, than to write out whatever happens to be on my mind in vain ambition. It matters not whether I am posting 7 posts a week, 3 posts a week, or no posts at all ... so long as He is glorified. Nothing else matters.
I am waiting on Him.

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