Words and Waiting

(Photo by Tara Gourley)
I am learning something that I find rather difficult to put to action. Obviously, if it was easy, I'd have been doing it by now, my ordinary ignorance aside. Here's the thing: I am a planner. I make lists in the morning, describing every minute thing I plan to do in that day, and if I do something that's not on the list, that's right, I write it down and check it off. It's a pride thing. I also like to have about 5 posts for this blog saved as drafts, "just in case." In case I run out of time to write a post next Monday. In case I completely run out of inspiration. In case I get into one of my emotional funks, and I want something powerful to post instead. Basically, I had them there because I didn't believe that God would always provide the time and inspiration ... because I didn't believe He could use me in any shape I was in, to bring Himself glory. My fail-safe kept me safe all right ... from a chance to see Him do something crazy. Sure, I believe that He can use the words that I type and save at whatever time I choose; He has already shown that He can. But imagine this. What if I was completely trusting Him for every word I typed? What if I dared write through my most heart-breaking seasons, inviting Him to bring beauty from my pain? What if I had enough faith to believe that even words typed at 3:00a.m., after a particularly busy and stressful day, wiping weary from my eyes ... could be used for His glory?
I'm not saying that I've been miraculously changed into a person who always finishes things last minute. Far from it! I am writing this on a Monday, intending to post it four days from now. You know why I'm writing this now? Because I have the words, and I feel like they're from God, and meant to be shared. What I'm saying is that no longer will I be forcing myself to write anything. If I have no words to share on my regular Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule, then no words will be shared. If I don't have a hymn study to share on Monday, I won't. And if I have one, but am given something else that seems more timely, then so be it.
A friend texted me this the other day: "God gives you your words. If He gives you a few, say a few. If He gives you none, then be silent. If He gives you many, then take out a pen and write them down."
This is what I plan to do.
I am counting on Him to know best, and to work it all out for my good (Romans 8:28). His ways are above mine (Isaiah 55:9). And I'm trusting that His timing is better than mine as well. I would much rather be late in my mind, and on time in His, than to write out whatever happens to be on my mind in vain ambition. It matters not whether I am posting 7 posts a week, 3 posts a week, or no posts at all ... so long as He is glorified. Nothing else matters.
I am waiting on Him.

Comments

  1. AmandaFebruary 7, 2014 at 4:20 PM

    True.

    Very, very true. Hmm. That's something to think about.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

May this place be a home and a haven.

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Ann {Coffee for Your Heart}

Image
This week's prompt from Holley Gerth is "Who inspires you?" Simple enough, but I didn't just want to say some names and leave it at that. I chose one who has profoundly impacted my life, and I wrote her a letter. She may never see this post, but I am posting it anyway.  (image via Google)            Dear Ann , You may or may not remember me. I don't know if I want you to or not. I emailed you as a girl a little younger, and a lot less secure. I emailed you in tears, and you replied in love. But at that point, you had already inspired me. I pulled your book off my mother's shelf, on a happy and altogether forgettable day ... I didn't journal that day, so that's all I know. I had stopped journaling when life stopped sounding prettier on paper. And I'd long forgotten why it was worth the fight. The pages of that book witnessed a journey ... one that still blows my mind. We left the church I called home; a place that I had so deeply based my
Read more

Endings

Image
Scott Henry Photography I am learning to appreciate endings Not just the happy kind And not the kind that screams, “Sequel!” or “their lives go as such” But endings True—perhaps upsetting—but Authentic endings In an age in which our phones are always open We get so very little closure Except silence As a teenager, I did not know That no one would call me to say that I was not being considered for that job at the market Their answer was silence I followed up And was told that my application Was more or less in a wastebasket Like the messages I had sent a stupid boy Who considered me not worth meeting In the movies I watched as a child, with my mother There were no unhappy endings She didn’t allow those in our house I remember watching one with her “Funny Girl” And sitting in shock as the credits rolled At having witnessed something so crushing That couldn’t be the ending, could it? I lived my life in similar denial Horrified by goodbye
Read more

You're Not Alone {Coffee for Your Heart}

Image
(via Holley Gerth ) (Photo by Tara Gourley ) This isn’t easy for me to talk about, but if people only talked about the easy stuff, this world would be in serious disarray--well, more serious. I’m going to be honest here; the type of honesty that requires trust, and that is something that I am still learning, slowly . I have felt alone. I have stood in the middle of a crowded room and have felt so desperately lonely that it nearly drowned me. This has happened in my own home. I have been prone to anxiety attacks. I’ve sat on the floor, feeling like the world is caving in, and have only recently learned to text someone I trust when this happens. I have laid alone in my bed and cried myself to sleep. I know these feelings, and I know how real they can seem; so real that everything else looks fake and twisted in comparison. I have hid in corners and let the lie consume me: I am alone. I wasn’t. And dear soul, you aren’t either. Do you hear me? You. Are. Not. Alon
Read more