Tuesday, March 31, 2015

peace, like a river

(taken by moi)
I'm feeling incredibly quiet right now. & it's not in the "absence of noise" sort of way. It would be best described as peace, I would think.

Peace so beautiful, I could cry.

I might cry.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to cry.

I have a head cold, but I was able to get an amazing chunk of sleep last night, so I'm feeling more like myself.

I'm thinking about things, studying things, & preparing for things that would stress nigh anyone out. They would especially stress out the Lydia I know.

But I don't feel anxious, worried, or stressed.

This feeling of calmness as I recognize that everything has been placed in Jesus' hands, & I am completely satisfied in knowing that. I am safe.

I have soft music playing ... oh, how I love my soft music.

The words brim & spill through my fingertips, & it isn't a panicked rush ... it feels more like the rhythm of a symphony.

The makeup & facades are off, & I find myself unconcerned with what people think.

Everything is changing. This day is a precipice on which I stand, & the view ahead is one of the next season in our lives, a new beginning. Much rides upon today, & my heart is involved, for sure. But I am not agonizing over what will happen, for once. It doesn't depend on me, at all. So I do what's in front of me & I wait, & I trust. Because I know Whose hand this day rests in.

& I choose to rest in Him, too. No matter what happens.

Because, if we're honest here, the truth is, He knows what will happen.

How comforting is that?

He administers peace to my soul, & as I wait on Him, soaking in the sheer wonder of Him, I know: where He goes, that's where I want to go. Wherever He leads. In His timing. He is worthy of my trust, & I will follow. Surely, this work-in-progress shall fall. But I know that no matter how hard, far, & often I do so, His hand never lets go of my heart, & He never gives up on my future; His plan for me. He never gives up, no matter how I fail ... So why should I have cause to give up, even for a second, on the One who fails not?

He is worthy of my utter allegiance, & so I commit my soul to Him. I commit my today to Him, my future, & every moment in the between time. He holds me. & I rest.