Who Stays {an original poem}

I imagined him a thousand times

And every single time, he walked away

Saw it coming; never even cried

Experience said love could never stay

They couldn’t convince me otherwise

Oh, how I wanted to believe their song

But each time someone leaves, something dies

And they were the ones that proved themselves wrong

“I told you so … goodbye.”

Their words grew stale, then dissipated

‘Til the rare response that hurt more than silence

Cut deeper than anticipated

“Was,” “knew,” “had” – the bitter sting of past-tense

“Love” becomes “once loved,” “stay” becomes “long gone”

I lose all childlike faith in forever

Along with the instinct to hold on

“Wake up, heart! Wake up, wake up – whatever

What help were you anyway?”

I decided that I was worthless

And then You came for me, Lord – You sought me out

You chose me when I was still heartless

Your wild love opposing each fear and doubt

“I don’t want You!” I screamed night and day

Even running after all You hated

Then waited for You to walk away

In hot anguish, I waited … and waited

I could have waited ‘til the last bell

And You would have never abandoned me

I could have been a mascot for hell

And You would still pursue me ardently

Publicly

God, You’re not even ashamed of me

After all that I did to break Your heart

You want me, You want me, You want me

Yes, even when I am falling apart

Who is this God,

Who stays with the wayward?

And what is this love,

That stays in the first place?

I am undone

I cease to run