Catching Up

I have been silent for far too long, & this is mostly due to my distaste for blogging from my phone.

I'll explain.

Old Bessie, my laptop, is on her last leg. She's overheating every time I turn her on (an action that now takes 15+ minutes). Her webpages aren't loading. She's whirring & whining, & it makes my heart hurt just to look at her.

So, yes, technically, I could blog from my phone, but I really prefer writing on computers, because I am a perfectionist, & I like to know that the format I write this in is the format it stays in. OCD, I know.

So here I am, putting off the inevitable laptop purchase, & typing on a borrowed computer in my fringe hours.

Forgive me, friend.

Last time we talked, I was doing some big-time processing, & -- I'm sure you could tell -- sorely in need of balance.

I've come a long way.

Nothing is wasted in the Kingdom of God. I love that. He took that burdened girl who was mourning the loss of her free spirit, & He lifted her head.

I still sit in that rocking chair & sip tea.

There's a handkerchief in the pocket of my thick sweater.

I'm still cold.

Friends my own age call me Grandma Yidia, & I have just laughed & accepted the new title.

I've grown up in a lot of ways, but I still have the spunky spark in me.

And I think that that is so pleasing to God.

Surely, He wants us to die to our old sinful selves. But, He also gave us quirks & passions that He worked into His plan for our lives.

I imagine Him looking down on me as I'm writing a poem, & telling me, "Yes! That's it. I didn't birth that in you just for you to leave it dormant; I love that you're using that - it's one of My favorite things about you ... P.S. I have so many favorite things about you."

It's exciting. He's showing me ways to use the quirky bits, as well as the lessons that I've learned in the trials, for Kingdom purposes. How amazing is that?

I get to sketch to fund the dream He's planted in my heart. I get to say yes to some pretty incredible things. I get to have dance parties while cleaning the house. It's so beautiful.

 I love the redemptive power of this Jesus of ours.

How about you? How have you been?

Is there any area in your life that could use the touch of Jesus to bind together your heart & your situation?

Pray with me:

Lord Jesus,
This life can be hard & heavy. It feels like joy can get pushed to the wayside & get forgotten so easily. I stress as I struggle. Jesus, help me to run to You. Help my response to adversity to be one that worships & honors You. You are holy & Your plans are always good. Spur my heart on, Jesus; help it to catch up to where I am right now in Your plan. Give me strength for the things You have called me to, & help me not to do them in a spirit of religion, but a Spirit of Love. Your perfect love is strong enough to cast out my fears & worries. Your plan is steadfast & sure. You are Faithful & True, & You will see me through. I can trust in You. Help my unbelief! In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Comments

Post a Comment

May this place be a home and a haven.

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Ann {Coffee for Your Heart}

Image
This week's prompt from Holley Gerth is "Who inspires you?" Simple enough, but I didn't just want to say some names and leave it at that. I chose one who has profoundly impacted my life, and I wrote her a letter. She may never see this post, but I am posting it anyway.  (image via Google)            Dear Ann , You may or may not remember me. I don't know if I want you to or not. I emailed you as a girl a little younger, and a lot less secure. I emailed you in tears, and you replied in love. But at that point, you had already inspired me. I pulled your book off my mother's shelf, on a happy and altogether forgettable day ... I didn't journal that day, so that's all I know. I had stopped journaling when life stopped sounding prettier on paper. And I'd long forgotten why it was worth the fight. The pages of that book witnessed a journey ... one that still blows my mind. We left the church I called home; a place that I had so deeply based my
Read more

You're Not Alone {Coffee for Your Heart}

Image
(via Holley Gerth ) (Photo by Tara Gourley ) This isn’t easy for me to talk about, but if people only talked about the easy stuff, this world would be in serious disarray--well, more serious. I’m going to be honest here; the type of honesty that requires trust, and that is something that I am still learning, slowly . I have felt alone. I have stood in the middle of a crowded room and have felt so desperately lonely that it nearly drowned me. This has happened in my own home. I have been prone to anxiety attacks. I’ve sat on the floor, feeling like the world is caving in, and have only recently learned to text someone I trust when this happens. I have laid alone in my bed and cried myself to sleep. I know these feelings, and I know how real they can seem; so real that everything else looks fake and twisted in comparison. I have hid in corners and let the lie consume me: I am alone. I wasn’t. And dear soul, you aren’t either. Do you hear me? You. Are. Not. Alon
Read more

Endings

Image
Scott Henry Photography I am learning to appreciate endings Not just the happy kind And not the kind that screams, “Sequel!” or “their lives go as such” But endings True—perhaps upsetting—but Authentic endings In an age in which our phones are always open We get so very little closure Except silence As a teenager, I did not know That no one would call me to say that I was not being considered for that job at the market Their answer was silence I followed up And was told that my application Was more or less in a wastebasket Like the messages I had sent a stupid boy Who considered me not worth meeting In the movies I watched as a child, with my mother There were no unhappy endings She didn’t allow those in our house I remember watching one with her “Funny Girl” And sitting in shock as the credits rolled At having witnessed something so crushing That couldn’t be the ending, could it? I lived my life in similar denial Horrified by goodbye
Read more