Broken Birdsong

I reached towards heaven To cover Your eyes Ever since I was seen I've wanted to hide And ever since I hid I've wished they would see -- Beggars, saints and scholars -- And deem me worthy Camouflaged, I lay there Begging for notice In shame, doubt and fear To be seen like this To be caught in my sin Exposed as myself Naked broken poser No doll on a shelf Look away, look away Away from me, Lord Yet You don't shift Your gaze You don't say a word I realize it was You - That it was Your sight That I tried to remove Yet craved morn and night Put my roots in darkness Ran rather than fight As if this was progress I was made for the light Look away, look away Away from me, Lord Yet You don't shift Your gaze You don't say a word I dare look up again You're somehow nearer Your love won't look away It's ne'er been clearer Where are my accusers? Where are my idols? All of them were scattered And here I stand, w

When the muse strikes May these hands of mine Ne'er be found idle Nor waiting for lightning When a song moves my soul May I not let it slip Moving on to another Who might treasure it When my heart gives a stammer As if catching its breath May I still myself enough To explore the cause May I embrace confusion Until it becomes clarity May I never neglect the wonder Never forget its origin May I always pause when The light invades my skin May I always exhale Then begin once again May the wind of change No longer be my enemy But rather, a strange partner In a brand new dance May I sink beneath the waves Only to emerge again, new May the broken and tainted Become a stained glass window May I let the light shine through it

(image found on Pinterest) I have always been the one to hold back. I've been scared. I've seldom thought myself good enough. I haven't had the nerve to commit. I am the girl that suffered intense joint pain through most of my childhood. I have often wondered what my body was even capable of. I doubted it was anything significant. I didn't take advanced math in high school, because I never thought I would amount to anything that would require a degree. I didn't touch a guitar for years, because I thought my fingers incapable of applying so much concentrated pressure. I have balked in the face of auditions & applications. I have looked at a person & deemed them above me. I've pruned my expectations time & time again; cut down my dreams until they looked realistic & acceptable. I have given up when I should have kept on fighting. It turns out, a lot of things are closer to my grasp than I first thought. I have discov